Baptism

2006-02-25T05:01:00.000-08:00

Annnnd I did it....finally... Queen of procrastination that I am, I shied away from blogging lest addiction took over ....Yup..I am that much pitied creature ....the final semester undergrad...So why did I give in? I felt I needed a canvas ...... I've had to make some difficult choices these last couple of months.... Ive had a dratted time since of late... illness, exams, muggings, moth-holes-in-my-wallet syndrome....all part of the glorious university existence... this seemed like the perfect opportunity to articulate the thoughts swimming in mein head......mi muchos pensamientos ....(Im fond of languages....not in the sense that I'd like to learn them, but as alternative mediums of expression..... there's something in WORDS isnt there? Is it just me? I love the word 'postulate' and want to laugh out loud when someone says Bibimbab)

When I first dashed, yes dashed over to this country of gloom , I was a wide eyed ingenue... my first experience of snow bowled me over... (my friends laughed down my cries of 'so why am i getting wet??)....J came into my life....I wanted to live here forever.....so much choice.... the natives take Boots for granted...but coming from Lanka where you usually have a choice of just about 5 brands of shampoo on the shelves of Cargills, my god!!!

3 years down the line, nope...can't take it...want to go home... want the sun, want the heat....want my beautiful Lanka .... My friend A told me that her brother ,while in a rare trance of deep thought, revealed to her that he came back eventually because he didnt like change. I pondered .......nah..I love change .... I need it... Not dramatic change... little changes...to keep the fates guessing...................I always thought of myself as impulsive.... Once, Kolla demanded that I 'chill' and stop the damn planning! it was weeks away!!....then he professed perplexity when I changed plans at the last minute.....so yeah,to revert .....it's not that I don't like change...... it's more to do with this country.... the land, the people and my connection with it.....It's not for everyone.... I know folk who get scoffed at for not being able to 'hack it' in a foreign land ..... tis pity tis.....Such generalisation is nonsensical I now realise.......I know those who only associate with Lankans here..... In a way, yes a little pathetic....after all.... It's a brand new experience!! revel in it!.....but I now sorta understand the reasoning.........Sometimes , it's not you....it's the place........I've been travelling.....NY is brilliant!! I'd LOVE it there..... but....I don't like it here anymore.... I have the friends, the social life, the career in the making, the multitude of choices, First world living, the money....... but right now.....I pick home.... Rife with bomb explosions , bad roads, beautiful beautiful landscape, the beaches, ....oh the beaches.....the barbarically passionate people, the light and brightness! (a photographer could explain better)....

No this isnt homesickness..... It's ardent worship of the place I call home and my dawn of realisation, that 'less' through the eyes of the developed world, is so much 'more' in MY world .....

Pensamientos

Baptism